The following is an excerpt from: "I didn't know how to deal with it: young people speak out about their sexual contacts with adults," by Frans Gieles. Originally published in the April 1998 "Dutch NVSH lwg JORis Newsletter," translation by "Gerald."
----

In the past two years, nine times I came across disclosures from young people about sexual contacts that they had accepted. These contacts had taken place 3 to 20 years previously.

In all cases I know the involved adult to be principled and trustworthy, who would not force his will onto a child. In all cases I am convinced about the consensuality of the encounter and I am also mostly assured that the immediate aftermath was at least a partly positive experience.

...[Their retrospective reactions were as follows:]...

1. I felt drawn in two ways: It was nice, but somewhere it also didn't feel good. I had the feeling that something bad was happening that I couldn't stop.


2. It went all too fast. It was too early. It was too much at once. I rather had discovered all this slowly, at my own pace.


3. I couldn't talk with anyone about it, not at home or with boy or girl friends. No, it was not a happy secret, for it weighed too heavy on my conscience. It was a barrier between me and my parents and friends.



4. My spontaneity disappeared.


5. I was ashamed and felt guilty that I nevertheless had agreed to do it. Did you say that I took the initiative...? I thought that YOU did...! But you should not have agreed with that.


6. Now I don't know what I am sexually. I can't make any contacts. I have lost my self-confidence.


7. And at night I have those fantasies...


8. At home things are difficult. I can't concentrate at school. As a result of all that I started to use drugs.


9. I am pissed off with you. Haven't you noticed that for quite some time I have been avoiding you?

----

mirrors:
~ http://www.ipce.info/ipceweb/Library/i_did_not_know.htm
~ http://www.human-being.nl/Library/I_DIDNT_KNOW_HOW.html
~ http://www.tegenwicht.org/11_intimacy/i_did_not_know.htm
~ http://www.helping-people.info/articles/i_did_not_know.htm
~ http://www.p-loog.info/English/i_did_not_know.htm

Introduction is pending...